


Redemption

by Jewsters1986



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Death, F/M, Loss, Love, MikexReader, Redemption, Shifter!Reader, readerxmike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 00:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10628271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jewsters1986/pseuds/Jewsters1986
Summary: Mike are Reader were once lovers, but a terrible revelation tears them apart.Can she redeem herself and win back the man she loves?





	1. Chapter 1

_"Traitor."_  
The word you would carry to your grave, the title everyone would spit with malice whenever they spoke your name.  
For that was what you were, you had betrayed everyone:   
Your friends, your family, your comrades and most painfully of all...your lover.  
  
A single tear slid down your cheek and dropped to the stone floor of your cold dimly lit prison cell as you recalled the flash of anger and sadness that had filled his usually warm stare.  
It felt almost like a knife being driven deep into your heart, a sharp twist added for good measure to convey the magnitude of the grief your actions had caused.  
Yet after the catastrophic failure of The 57th Exterior Scouting Expedition, you could no longer shoulder the burden of the lie that weighed so heavily upon you.  
The faces of the dead, who you had come to care about since joining the Survey Corps added to the guilt that already consumed you and now threatened to drown you in a sea of self loathing.  
Why did you do it? Why did you allow yourself to be coerced into playing a part in this twisted plan?  
You were supposed to infiltrate their ranks and gather information about the location of "The Coordinate" and who possessed it, not turn your back on your own people to side with those who you were meant to be fighting against...and certainly not end up falling in love with one of them.  
  
The loud squeal of metal hinges swinging open broke the eerie silence of the dungeon, followed by slow heavy footfalls which gradually came closer until they finally halted in front of your cell.  
A heavy sigh reached your ears, causing more tears to fall from your e/c eyes, yet you could not bring yourself to face the person now staring at you through the bars.  
"Why?" Asked a low gruff male voice, making the already painful ache in your heart intensify. "Why did you lie to me?"  
"I didn't." You muttered feebly, still refusing to meet their gaze. "I just never told you who...what I really was."  
"Same difference."  
Swallowing hard you pushed yourself up from the cold hard floor and took slow tentative steps towards the unforgiving metal bars that currently confined you.  
Only when you reached them did you raise your head to look at your visitor.  
"I never lied about loving you." You whispered sincerely, wrapping your fingers around the black metal. "That part was always true."  
The man's stubble framed lips curled upwards into a sneer and he inhaled deeply.  
"Was it?"  
A choked sob shook your body, lowering your head you rested it against the bars and closed your eyes.  
You didn't blame him for not believing you, but this was one thing you had never lied about and never would.  
  
Falling in love with this man had been the final nail in the coffin of your loyalty to those you originally served.  
It was never meant to happen, you never wanted to give your heart to him and develop a sense of feeling like you belonged with him and his comrades.  
Their beliefs, their way of life, the fact that they simply wanted to live in peace had struck a chord within you.  
It made you realize that they were not the monsters that you had been led to believe they were, upon meeting you they had willingly accepted you into their fold and treated you with kindness and humility.  
Yet it was only the man that stood before you now who had earned a special place in your heart.  
Years of training and fighting together brought the two of you closer than either had thought possible, love had quickly blossomed and you eventually made the decision to abandon your mission and betray your people to be with him.  
Did you feel guilty for it? Slightly at first, however remembering the lies and how you were forcibly coerced into undertaking this task soon absolved you of that guilt.  
Did you regret telling him and his comrades the truth? No, you did not.  
If anything you were relieved, it felt like the great weight had finally been lifted and you were free to breathe easy again.  
Even when they tackled you to the ground and bound you in chains, you knew you deserved everything that was coming to you and you simply let it happen:  
When Captain Levi hurled abuse at you while raining down an angry barrage of bone breaking punches and kicks, you stayed still endured it.  
When Commander Erwin and Section Commander Hanji glared at you with disgust in their eyes, you silently held their gaze.  
Yet when Section Commander Mike stood by and did nothing while you were unceremoniously thrown into a cell, you were completely broken.  
Knowing that behind that stoic expression, the man you loved was probably... _no certainly_ regretting ever falling for you and trusting you, you would've given anything for them to just kill you and end your suffering.  
  
"Why now?"  
Mike's low voice cut through your dark memories, bringing you back to the present. It prompted you to raise your head and make eye contact, you owed him an explanation at the very least.  
"After all these years, why reveal yourself now?"  
Swallowing hard you drew a deep breath and started to speak.  
"When I saw the female titan, I realized that my people must've noticed my lack of communication with them and sent additional forces. Seeing her murder so many people in cold blood today just confirmed why I decided to abandon them four years ago and change sides." You paused for a moment and bit your lip before continuing, your grip on the cold steel bars tightening. "I never wanted to be a part of their plans, they're monsters Mike! I know I made the right choice by choosing you over them, I don't regret it and I never will...just like I will never regret falling in love with you."  
Mike snorted, his pale eyes narrowing as he turned on his heels and bean to walk away.  
"I'll tell you everything!" You pleaded, your voice cracking and halting him in his tracks. "After that you can do what you like with me. Torture me, kill me...just let me prove that my loyalty to you and our comrades was real!"  
Exhaling deeply, the tall section commander remained motionless, silently contemplating your request.  
"Please." You whispered, screwing your eyes shut and causing more tears to fall.  
Pursing his lips, Mike walked away, quietly closing the heavy wooden door behind him without saying a single word.  
  
Several hours later, your solitude was once again interrupted by the sound of the dungeon door once again being opened, followed this by the rapid and purposeful foot steps echoing off the stone floor and halting abruptly outside your cell.  
"Oi, Traitor!"   
Wearily raising your head, your blood shot e/c eyes met with the cold harsh stares of Captain Levi and Commander Erwin.  
"Where...where's Mike?" You asked, slowly standing up, however this time you did not approach the bars.  
"He doesn't want to see you...you filthy titan!" Spat Levi, folding his arms across his chest.  
You lowered your head and closed your eyes, the short captain's words cutting deeper than any blade ever could and driving it home that you had truly lost him.  
"We're here to make a deal." Said Commander Erwin firmly, gaining your immediate attention. "We want full disclosure, how many of you there are and where you're all hiding. If we're satisfied that you're being honest then your life will be spared."  
"Lie to us and I won't hesitate to kill you." Finished Levi, holding up a pairing blade and allowing the dim orange glow from the flames of the wall mounted torches to catch its sharp edge and make it shine.   
"I'll tell you all I know." You replied boldly, pushing down the pain of knowing that your lies and deceit had robbed you of the man you loved.  
You had nothing else to lose and you would rather be killed by Levi than allow yourself to be taken back to your homeland, you would confess to everything and accept your fate.  
Whatever that may be...  
  
 _ **Three days later...**  
_  
Having listened to your reasons for betraying your people and pledging your loyalty to the Survey Corps, Commander Erwin swiftly ordered your release...but it was not without certain conditions.  
The first being that you were to be kept under constant supervision, a term you were more than willing to agree to if it meant being granted the freedom of not being confined to a cell.   
The second being that you would be accompanying Mike and several other scouts to an outpost in Wall Rose to ascertain if there were any other titan shifters among the trainees from the 104th Cadet Corps.   
One of the new recruits, a boy named Armin Arlet who was also a member of the recently graduated cadets had supplied valuable information eluding to the identity of the female titan and a plan to capture her had already been formulated.   
A plan which you were allowed no part of, not that you were complaining, you were just glad to be given a second chance at helping your comrades eradicate this new threat.  
The third and final condition of your release was that should any suspected enemy spies try to make contact with you, you were to inform whoever was supervising you immediately and take appropriate measures to...deal with them.  
However despite pledging your loyalty to the Survey Corps, there was one minor detail that you left out of your confession...  
All soldiers from your homeland carried with them a small vial of purple liquid contained within a syringe, which when injected into the nape of the neck would turn the recipient into a titan.   
It was to be used only in an emergency should their mission fail and their chances of survival be practically zero.   
The protocol was to find their nearest human ally, inject them with the serum and then once they had assumed titan form, the shifter would allow themselves to be devoured so that their comrade would once again become human and receive the power to turn into a titan.   
It was in all essence a last resort, but one that had served its purpose for many years and was an effective way of keeping the powers from falling into enemy hands.  
  
The sun was beating down over the Wall Rose outpost you had been assigned to and the surrounding area was calm and peaceful, save for the casual conversation of the other squad members who were assisting with the current task of guarding the oblivious members of the 104th Cadet Corps.  
You had your doubts that some of them were willing to accept that this was just some routine exercise, some of them had to be wondering what was happening and why they were here.  
After all, none of them were allowed to wear their uniforms or even train with their gear and they were strictly confined to the indoors where they could play chess, read or simply talk among themselves.   
Even you, the recently revealed traitor in their midst was allowed to wander around freely, fully armed and dressed in your standard uniform.   
Of course none of them knew you were a titan shifter who had infiltrated their ranks, that little piece of information was to be kept on a strictly need to know basis so as not to arouse too much suspicion.  
Idly walking around the small courtyard near the building where the recruits were currently being held, you looked up towards the tower where Mike was on sentry duty and sighed deeply.  
He'd barely been able to look at you since your release and hardly said a word to you unless it was to give you an order, even then he used your last name.  
He had even banned you from addressing him by his first name, insisting that when referring to him you called him "Sir" or "Section Commander." An action that deeply upset you and further emphasized that you were no longer lovers, or even friends for that matter.  
Still, you were not prepared to give up on winning him back.  
Your breath hitched in your throat when you noticed him staring down at you before quickly averting his gaze when your eyes met for the briefest of moments.  
"Mike..." You muttered sorrowfully, clenching your fists and struggling to maintain your composure.   
  
Up in the tower to the north of the outpost, Mike exhaled deeply and walked away to the other side of the stone structure.  
The horizon was clear and he once again found himself casting a quick glance below.   
His pale eyes narrowed as he observed you slowly walking around the courtyard with an almost defeated slump to your shoulders, finally stopping and raising your head before turning to glance up in his direction.  
Your eyes locked for what felt like an eternity, but in reality was merely a few seconds before he turned away and walked back to the other side of the battlements, unable to bare the sight of you.  
It angered him that despite your lies, he still held strong feelings of affection towards you.   
No matter how hard he tried to hate you or convince himself that he didn't care whether you lived or died, he knew that deep down he would never be able to shake off the love the two of you had once shared...but unfortunately for him, forgiving you was not an option.  
You had lied to him from the very start, kept a dark secret from him about your true identity...how could he ever trust you again after such a devastating revelation?  
The very idea that he had fallen in love with the enemy was enough make his stomach twist violently enough that he could feel the bile rising in his throat.  
Suddenly a strange scent caught his nostrils.  
Eyes widening he sniffed the air and walked back to the other side of the battlements, quickly scanning the horizon.  
"Mike?" Questioned Nanaba worriedly, her brows furrowing at how tense his body became.  
"Gather the others, we're evacuating the outpost!" He ordered, raising his voice so that everyone below could also hear him. "Multiple titans approaching from the south! Wall Rose has been breached!"  
  
"What?" You gasped, your heart suddenly racing in your chest at the orders coming from above as the other scouts started rushing towards the stables to retrieve their horses.  
Surely this was a mistake, Wall Rose couldn't possibly have been breached, you would've heard about it from a Garrison courier if that was the case?  
Then again this was Mike, he could sniff out a titan approaching from a great distance with barely any problems, a rather impressive ability and something which everyone agreed made him a great asset to the Survey Corps.  
"l/n get your horse now!"   
Spinning around to face the source of the voice, you instantly snapped out of your thoughts when Mike, who had now descended from the tower briskly walked towards you.  
You swallowed hard and stared up at him, rooted to the spot by fear when he reached out and grabbed your arm.   
Roughly shoving you forward, he caused you to stumble and nearly fall over your own two feet. Thankfully you managed to catch yourself and regain your balance, preventing you from crashing to the cobbled stone ground.  
"Move it!"  
Blinking back tears at his manhandling of your person, you quickly turned away and made a dash for the stables, closely followed by the tall section commander.  
"You're to stay within ten feet of me at all times unless I tell you otherwise." He growled, rapidly saddling his horse and checking that it was secure. "Am I making myself clear?"  
"Yes Sir." You muttered, concentrating on making sure that your horse was properly saddled and bridled before mounting it.  
Maybe you should just give up on trying to win him back? Maybe you should just accept that what the two of your once shared was now over and there was no recovering it...  
No, your heart wouldn't allow you to do that.  
As painful as it was knowing that Mike now hated you, you couldn't just throw away the past four years you had spent together.  
You  _would_  earn his forgiveness, even if it was the last thing you ever did.  
  
With everyone mounted and prepared to leave, Mike informed them all that they were to wait until the titans reached the edge of the woods to the north before splitting up into four teams and evacuating the nearby villages...but unfortunately this plan never came to pass.  
Three of the nine titans suddenly started sprinting, if they were not taken out quickly then the entire squad would be decimated.  
Did this mean that they were abnormals?   
You begged and pleaded with Mike to let you transform and take them out to buy everyone some time to get away and carry out his plan, however he refused.  
Whether he was doing it to punish you or simply because he was worried you were going to try and stage an escape attempt you couldn't be certain.   
"Gelgar, take charge of the southern team and don't let l/n out of your sight!" He ordered, pulling back hard on his horse's reins and causing the animal to whinny loudly.  
"Section Commander!" Yelled the scout, his eyes widening as Mike turned the animal around and galloped back towards the outpost.  
"Someone has to help him!" You screamed angrily, gripping the reins of your horse tighter and casting a worried glance behind as Mike disappeared over the dip in the dusty road.  
"You know as well as anyone that his skill is second only to Captain Levi!" Shouted Gelgar. "Have faith in him, he'll make it back!"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: WARNING:  
THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 EPISODE 1!  
  
_"Only when a person stops fighting do they lose."  
_  
Galloping back towards the outpost after breaking away from the main platoon, Mike started to formulate a plan of attack.  
There may only be nine titans at the moment, but that didn't necessarily mean that there wasn't a risk of more appearing.  
Maybe he should have brought you along with him, although it wasn't as if he couldn't handle this by himself.  
His skills as a soldier were bested only by Captain Levi, so this group would not pose much of a problem if he concentrated and stayed alert to what was happening around him.  
However knowing that as a shifter, you would most likely be able to deal with them in half the time using your titan form...  
Growling angrily in the pit of his throat, he pushed the thought from his head and narrowed his eyes.  
Using your powers wasn't an option.  
He had lost all trust in you since you revealed your true identity, who was to say that once you assumed your titan form you wouldn't attempt to kill him? Maybe you had the ability to summon reinforcements using the same technique as the Female Titan during the capture attempt in the Forest of Giant Trees?  
No, he was confident that by choosing to deal with this situation himself he was doing the right thing.  
  
Risking another glance behind you, you worriedly bit your lip hard enough to draw blood.  
Something didn't feel right, deep in your gut none of what was currently happening made any sense.  
The outpost was nowhere near Wall Rose's southern district of Trost...or any other city with a gate which would lead to Wall Maria for that matter.  
Furrowing your brows you cast your mind back four years to when you were forced to take on your mission to discover the location of the Coordinate, during the briefing you had been told that the only parts of the walls surrounding the Shiganshina District that the Colossal and Armoured Titans had managed to break were the gates...  
"Oh no!" You gasped in horror, your heart sinking when a terrible realization hit you. "Gelgar, we have to go back!"  
"What?" Questioned the scout, his brows furrowing in confusion. "What are you talking about?"  
"Mike's in grave danger, we have to help him!"  
"Why do you say that?" He asked, his suspicions mounting by the second.  
"I know who's breached Wall Rose! Gelgar please listen to me, it's another shifter like me, I can sense them! Please let me go back and take care of them, Mike will die if I don't!"  
Gelgar frowned and curled his lip, glancing over at Nanaba and silently questioning whether they should believe you.  
"Go." She said sternly.  
"Thank you. I'll make sure Mike returns alive...I promise!" You shouted, pulling back hard on your horse's reins, you steered the animal off to the left before galloping back towards the abandoned outpost.  
"You think we can trust her?" Inquired Gelgar in a tone that suggested he didn't.  
"Normally I would say no." Replied Nanaba. "However I've seen the way she looks at Mike...even though he no longer loves her, she still loves him."  
Her male companion shook his head at her words.  
"She willingly disclosed all she knew about why she was sent here and why she chose to betray her people, she's also been compliant with the commander's demands since her release..."  
"She could be doing that out of cowardice!" He scoffed. "She may still betray us!"  
"Maybe, but I happen to believe her love for Mike is strong enough to stop that."  
"What if it isn't?"  
"Then when we find her she is to be killed on sight in accordance with Commander Erwin's orders. For now though, we give her the benefit of the doubt and see if she keeps her promise."  
  
Mike landed on the roof of the outpost's main barrack block as the fifth titan fell.  
Catching his breath he surveyed his surroundings.   
"Four left." He muttered, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully.   
He now had a life or death decision to make.  
He could take out the four remaining titans, although he was now on his last set of blades so if he chose to do this he would need to make each strike count.  
His second option was to hold up in the observation tower until nightfall when the titans would be less active and easier to outrun due to them gaining most of their energy from sunlight, this useful piece of information had been discovered by Section Commander Hanji's extensive research and seemed to come in very handy right about now.  
Finally his third option was to try calling his horse back and try to rejoin the squad that was heading south, although if the animal failed to return he would be forced to revert to his second choice of options.  
Sheathing his remaining blades, he raised his right hand to his mouth and called his horse, the shrill whistle echoing across the grassy plains to signal for the animal to return. Hopefully it would hear him and swiftly come back to him.  
However there was one more thing that concerned him, the appearance of an abnormal.  
Yet this was different from any other he had ever seen, this particular titan was nearly seventeen meters high and looked like some kind of animal.  
Its arms, legs and most of its upper body were covered in a layer of thick brown fur that would probably make trying to injure it very difficult, yet this wasn't the only thing that bothered Mike. The thing seemed to show no interest in him whatsoever, instead of attacking him it just seemed to be aimlessly walking around the outpost...why was that?  
Finally the sound of a horse whinnying caught Mike's attention.  
"Yes your back!" He said to himself, watching the animal come galloping towards him. "At least I don't have to worry about holding out till nightfall now."  
The faithful steed continued to make its way across the grassland towards Mike's location, completely oblivious to the abnormal. Still the tall section commander wasn't worried, no titan, including abnormals ever took an interest in anything other than human beings.  
Suddenly the abnormal reached down and grabbed the horse as it passed by, its large fingers closing tightly around the animal's middle, lifting it up into the air and causing it to whinny in a mixture of pain and panic.  
"What? It went for the horse?" Gasped Mike, his pale eyes widening in disbelief at what he was currently witnessing before drawing his blades again. "You can't be serious?"  
Eventually the abnormal slowly turned its attention towards him, his bright yellow eyes narrowing as its lips parted to display a row of sharp white fangs.   
Tightening it's grip on the horse further, the sickening sound of bones popping finally silenced the animal's terrified cries before it drew back its arm and with an incredible feat of speed, threw its corpse directly at Mike.  
Frozen to the spot in shock, Mike reacted too late the horse's limp body landed with an almighty thud on the roof next to him, missing him by centimeters and throwing him from the roof in a shower of debris.  
Spinning through the air as he fell, Mike was unable to right himself in time to deploy his gear and ended up being caught in the grip of a four meter titan with horrifying bulbous eyes.   
He struggled in its grasp, slashing at it with his blades, but to no avail. The titan opened its mouth and bit down on his left leg, causing him to cry out on agony.  
Blood poured out of the wound, staining his trousers crimson as he struggled to free himself.  
Sadly the titan's grip was too strong and it continued to chew on his now broken limb, trying to force the rest of his body further into its mouth.  
"Wait!"   
Struggling against the pain in his leg, Mike looked up and stared in horror as the abnormal squatted down behind the titan currently holding him, causing a heavy breeze to blow through the trees at the sudden movement.  
Had this titan just spoken? How was that even possible?   
Everything seemed to slow down to a halt, even time stood still in that small moment. Yet before Mike could contemplate what was happening, the small titan once again started to bite down on his leg.  
"Huh? I thought I told you to wait!" Came the booming voice again, this time it was confirmed that it definitely came from the hairy abnormal.  
Seconds later it brought its large hand out and wrapped its fingers around the smaller titan's head, squeezing it until its bulbous eyeballs were ejected from their sockets with a loud wet popping sound.  
With the small titan now incapacitated, Mike fell from its suddenly loose grasp and crashed to the grass. Turning his gaze upwards he panted heavily, his heart pounding out of control in his chest when the abnormal smiled and spoke directly to him.  
"What is that weapon called?" It inquired curiously. "That thing around you waist that flies around."  
It was clearly referring to the terrified section commander's ODM Gear, however Mike couldn't answer.  
He was so shocked and terrified by what he was witnessing that his voice simply caught in his throat and died there, rendering him mute.  
The abnormal hummed and scratched at its large pointed ear, seemingly confused as to why he wasn't receiving any answers to his question.  
"I'm certain we speak the same language." It mused, keeping its focus on Mike before making an assumption based on what was currently happening and coming to the conclusion that he had probably never seen a talking titan before. "Perhaps you're simply too frightened."  
Continuing to study Mike and his gear, the abnormal spoke again...leading Mike to conclude that this wasn't an abnormal after all, but a titan shifter...like Eren Jaeger...like you...could this thing possibly be one of the people you had betrayed? Was it actually looking for you?  
"Oh I see you use swords too. I guess that means you know we reside in the nape." It said, sounding almost impressed. "Ah, well, I'll just take it back with me."  
Crying out in terror, Mike cowered and covered his head with his hands. There was no point in even trying to run with his broken leg, he couldn't and even if he did make an attempt to, he wouldn't get very far.  
The limb was mangled, bloody and practically useless, all he could do now was prepare for his inevitable death as the titan's hand stretched out and reached down for him.  
Screwing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth, he waited for the large fingers to close in around his body and crush him, however it never came.  
The quiet click of metal being unclipped caused his eyes to fly open, his breath hitching in his throat when he felt something being removed from his back...the abnormal had taken his gear!  
Having retrieved what it wanted, the abnormal stood up and turned around, slowly starting to walk away and leaving Mike curled up on the ground still keeping his hands over his head and trying to work out what had happened.  
Still panting heavily he soon snapped to his senses when he remembered the mantra he had always lived his life by since joining the military as a teenager, words that had kept him fighting all these years...  
_"Only when a person stops fighting do they lose."_  
Growling in the pit of his throat, Mike forced himself upright and reached for one of his discarded blades.  
Fire blazed in his eyes as his fingers closed around the cold metal handle and an almighty battle cry ripped through his throat.  
However it was an action he soon came to regret when the abnormal halted and turned back to face him.  
"You can move now!"   
Mike's eyes widened, his jaw dropping open and a panic cry escaping him.   
He'd been so terrified of the fact that this titan could talk with human words that he had forgotten about the other four titans that were still lurking around the outpost.  
Upon the abnormals command, they all advanced and surrounded him.  
"No! No!" Yelled Mike, desperately trying to run away, but unable to thanks to his mangled leg.  
Feet leaving the ground he felt himself being lifted up as the other titan's jaws clamped around his body and slowly proceeded to devour him.  
"So you _can_ speak after all?" Mused the abnormal, watching for a moment before walking away and leaving Mike to his death.  
  
"Mike, please be alive!" You sobbed, tears stinging your eyes as the outpost came into view. "Please don't die on me!"  
Spurring your horse you gripped the reins tighter and leaned further into the gallop.   
However your heart sank when you rode down the hill and the ruined main barrack block greeted you, but this was not the worst part.  
The large hulking figure of a titan covered in fur sat with its back to you, it appeared to be talking to something...or more worryingly someone.  
"That's impossible!" You squeaked, pulling your horse to a halt and dismounting. Rushing through the small mass of trees and daring to get as close to the thing as you dared. "How can that thing be talking?"  
Not once had you been taught how to speak in your titan form, all you could do was roar and growl...unless this particular form was being controlled by someone who had undergone more advanced training?  
"Oh I see you use swords too. I guess that means you know we reside in the nape."  
Swallowing hard, you cautiously scooted around the treeline to try and get a better look at who the shifter was talking to, hoping and praying to whatever gods existed that it wasn't Mike.  
"Ah, well, I'll just take it back with me."  
A loud terrified cry reached your ears, making you freeze in your tracks.  
"No!" You whispered, rapidly shaking your head. "No don't take their gear! Please, you can't!"  
You knew full well that the shifter couldn't hear you, if they had then they surely would've turned to face you. Which then raised the question of would it be someone who recognized you? Were they actually looking for you and ended up coming across this unfortunate scout instead?  
Suddenly a harsh breeze blew up around you as the shifter's titan form stood up straight and turned around, its heavy footsteps shaking the ground on which you stood as they started to walk away, too occupied with studying their prize to notice you staring up at them.  
"Who is that?" You whispered, studying the animal like features of the titan's form when it passed by You didn't recognize their voice and there was nothing familiar about the piercing yellow eyes to give anything away about what the person inside may have looked like.  
Before you could contemplate further, a strangled battle cry cut through your thoughts and pulled your attention towards the person who had released it. In that small moment, your heart felt like it was being torn in half and your worst fears were confirmed.  
"No! Mike!"   
Your hands went to your mouth, choking on your own breath you trembled uncontrollably upon seeing the state of his left leg. Without his gear he was as good as dead, there was no way he was capable of fighting with such a serious injury, you doubted he could even flee at this point.  
Looking back to the titan shifter, your e/c eyes widened even further, tears starting to fill them when the towering monster halted and turned to look behind it.  
"You can move now!"  
Quickly focusing your attention on the outpost once more, you were horrified to notice four titans had been stood silently by, watching and waiting as the shifter attempted to communicate with Mike.  
"Shit!" You gasped, feeling bile rise in your throat.   
No sooner had the shifter given their command, the titans rushed forward towards Mike and surrounded him.  
Frozen to the spot, you were unable to move or even speak as your former lover cried out in terror and made a failed to flee before the titans reached him.  
Tears streamed down your cheeks and harsh sobs tore through your throat, shaking your entire body as you watched them lift Mike up and proceed to devour him in a writing mess of blood and nightmare inducing cries of pain...


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: WARNING: MINOR MANGA SPOILERS ELUDING TO HOW TITAN SHIFTERS ARE CREATED!  
  
"No! No stop!"  
Mike agonized screams rang in your ears, yet you couldn't seem to force your body to move.  
What the hell was wrong with you?  
The man you loved was being killed in front of you and all you were capable of was standing by and watching it happen.  
"Mike!" You whimpered, tears streaming down your cheeks.  
The stench of blood stung your nostrils and made you gag, if you didn't do something soon Mike would perish and your promise to his squad mates would be broken.  
No! You refused to let that happen!  
You refused to stand idly by and let the man you loved die.  
Roughly wiping away your tears on the sleeve of your jacket and growling lowly in the pit of your throat, you reached into your right boot and pulled out the dagger you always kept there in case of emergencies.  
It had been a while since you had used your titan shifting abilities, but you felt confident that you could easily deal with such a small group.  
Drawing a deep breath your gripped the handle of the dagger tighter and raised your left hand, holding it palm up and and placing the sharp blade against your skin before digging it into your flesh and rapidly swiping it downwards...  
  
Mike squirmed in the titan's grasps, his cries of pain and terror ripping through his throat and sending his voice hoarse.  
Blood poured from the wounds his captors inflicted, it was a wonder his body was still intact.  
His legs hung limp and useless from his hips, giant sharp teeth digging into his arms and skull as they attempted to pull him apart like a pack of wild animals fighting over a fresh kill.  
Close to losing consciousness from the pain, he failed to notice the area around him suddenly light up in a flash of golden lightning, quickly followed by an ear splitting roar that filled the air seconds before he was unceremoniously send plummeting to the ground and landing in a tangled heap on the blood stained grass.  
Shakily turning his head when a dark shadow fell over him, his blurred vision cleared long enough for him to see that the titans who were mere moments ago trying to pull him apart were now laying in the pile of rubble that was the remains of the outpost's main barrack block.  
Tilting his head back as far as his aching neck would allow, he became aware of a fifth titan looming over him. Crouched down on all fours, its large torso seemed to shield his body, but it also looked like it could be preparing to attack.  
Its sharp fangs were bared in warning, lips trembling from the vibrations in its throat when it growled.  
Was it warning the others to stay back because it wanted to devour him itself? Or did this particular titan have an ulterior motive...such as defending him?  
Before he could contemplate further, the other four titans slowly got back to their feet and started to approach again.  
The low growl emitting from the titan currently standing over Mike suddenly grew louder and more angered, its body tensing and leaning back onto its haunches.   
It soon became clear that it was preparing to attack.  
Curling up and throwing his severly damaged arms over his head, Mike screwed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth when a violent breeze caused by the titan springing forward swept over him.  
  
Monstrous battle cries filled the air as you made short work of the titans that had tried to end Mike's life.  
Thick crimson blood flew in all directions, steam rising up from it when it splattered the ground and other surrounding surfaces it touched before evaporating.  
Sharp black claws grew from the tips of your fingers and allowed for deep cuts to be raked through the flesh of your targets as you carved out their napes.  
Rage filled your heart and fueled your actions, driving you on to ensure that you made sure these monsters couldn't regenerate.  
However deep down you knew they weren't really the monsters here, they were the poor innocent civilians who had become pawns in the other titan shifter's scheme.   
They had been turned into titans against their will and were simply following their natural instincts, it wasn't their fault that they were trapped in these towering flesh eating prisons with no release until death.  
"These were people I swore to protect!" You snarled from inside your titan form. "That bastard controlling that walking fuzzball, whoever he is...he turned them into titans to serve his purposes!"  
One last primal roar split the air as the last titan fell, thick white steam billowing from the bloody hole where its nape had once been.  
Turning back to where Mike lay lifeless in a pool of his own blood, you cautiously reached out and retracted your claws before carefully scooping him up in your large hands and kneeling on the grass.  
A soft low growl escaped your parted lips and gently blew across Mike's blood stained face, ruffling his matted hair and causing several gargling coughs to spit yet more crimson liquid from his mouth.  
He was still alive, but barely...and you now had a terrible choice to make in a very short time frame...  
  
Drifting on the brink of death, Mike soon became aware of something breathing rather heavily over him.  
Cracking his pale eyes open a fraction, he coughed harshly, bringing up blood and panting in pain.  
A strangled cry caught in his throat when his fuzzy vision momentarily cleared and he was met by the face of a titan with messy h/l h/c hair, large almost sad e/c eyes and a slightly parted mouth displaying sharp white fangs that could crush a human instantly.  
However instead of trying to devour him, this titan seemed to be staring at him in an almost...sorrowful manner.  
Furrowing his brows he winced in pain and with what little strength he still had, forced himself to concentrate on the titan's eyes.   
There was something about them that was familiar to him...he almost felt as though he'd stared into them many times before.  
His breath caught in his throat when he realized just why he recognized the resonating warmth being directed towards him by something which was meant to be the sworn enemy of humanity.  
"F/n?" He rasped, struggling to raise one damaged arm and stretching his bloodied fingertips out to touch your face. "It's you in there...isn't it?"  
A rumbling growl that made you almost sound like you were purring reverberated in your throat.   
Dipping your head you closed your eyes upon feeling Mike's rough fingertips make contact with the skin of your nose and gently stroke it.  
"So this...this is your...titan form?"  
You answered with a small grunt, slowly opening your eyes to reveal large tears starting to form in them.  
Normally titans were incapable of showing any signs of human emotion, but shifters were able to master this technique. Happiness, sadness, anger...they couldn't show them with words, but they were able to display them in their facial expressions. Maybe it was a sign that they still had some sense of still being human residing within them, even if it was twisted by the monster they became when they transformed.  
A pained smile formed on Mike's lips for a brief moment before he winced and gasped in pain, causing your titan eyes to widen in panic.  
You were so caught up in the affection he was showing you after three days of shunning you that you had almost forgotten he was dying.  
Cursing yourself internally you cautiously placed him down on the ground, making sure to be as gentle as your titan form would allow so that you didn't further damage his already mangled body before lowering your head so you were effectively bowing to him.   
Moments later, the skin on the nape of your titan form began to shift and break apart, hot white steam rising up from it followed by a loud primal scream as you finally started to break away from your flesh prison.  
"Gah, damnit come on!" You snarled, desperately trying to free your body from the many strands of muscle that bound you to the titan form, shaking with rage as hot tears stung your eyes.   
Violently pulling your legs loose, you squatted and leaned back, desperately trying to release your hands.   
"Mike, hang on!" You pleaded, finally managing to remove your left hand, however your right remained firmly fused to the now disintegrating corpse.   
You couldn't afford to wait until it had disappeared completely, if your were to stand any chance of saving Mike's life you needed to act quickly before it was too late.  
"Fuck, come on you bastard!" You screamed, reaching for one of your blades and positioning it against the slope of your arm.  
 Drawing a deep breath and holding it, you sliced along the limb and through the muscle of where your hand was still joined to the titan body, finally freeing yourself and jumping down from the now steaming pile of huge bones.  
"Mike!" You screamed, skidded to a halt next to him and dropping to your knees.  
You carefully wrapped your arm under his bruised neck and held him against you, checking his pulse while trying to fight back yet more tears that threatened to overwhelm you.  
It was weak but it was still there, you didn't have much time...a decision had to be made now.   
"Mike...Mike please look at me!"   
A choked breath was your only response as his eyes slowly opened and met yours, his stubble framed lips parted to speak but no sounds came forth.   
"Mike I'm so sorry!" You sobbed, resting your forehead against his.  
The tears that fell from your eyes landed on his cheeks, parting the blood that stained them as you continued to explain your plan.  
"I can't let you die, I promised our comrades you would return alive."  
Carefully keeping him steady in your left arm, you reached into your shirt pocket and produced a small capped syringe containing a bright purple liquid.   
You screwed your eyes shut and choked out a sob, it was so unfair that now you were so close to earning his forgiveness that fate was now going to tear you apart forever, but this was your redemption for all the lies you had told since infiltrating the Survey Corps. This was your ultimate chance to not only save the man you loved, but also prove to him and his comrades once and for all that your loyalty to them was true.  
"I love you Mike Zacharius." You whispered, placing the needle between your teeth and removing the cap to expose the sharp point. "I always have...please forgive me."  
"F/n?" He asked huskily, finally finding his voice.   
"I'm so sorry."   
Pressing your lips to his, you passionately kissed him for the last time as you jabbed the needle into his nape and depressed the plunger.  
Reluctantly pulling away from him you looked into his eyes one last time before carefully laying him on the ground and backing away, you only had a few short moments to prepare for what would happen next so you would need to act quickly.  
You hastily started to unclip your ODM Gear from your harness and rushed to place it under a nearby tree, making sure it was all present before looking back towards Mike.   
Steam was starting to rise up from his body and the sound of bones snapping soon reached your ears, followed by harsh coughs and cries of pain.  
Removing your jacket and placing it down with your gear, you continued to watch through teary eyes as the transformation began.  
The steam grew thicker and the only sign that anything was happening behind it was the sight of a thick black shadow with bulging muscles slowly started to appear, accompanied by a blood curdling roar that chilled you to the bone.   
Your breaths started to become heavy and forced when you craned your neck to stare up at the eighteen meter tall titan that's head now appeared above the cloud of steam, a head of shaggy chin length blonde hair swaying around its face as it looked around.   
Pale narrow eyes scanned their surroundings while the mouth of the beast remained framed by dark stubble and pulled down into the stoic frown Mike always displayed when he was deep in thought.  
Opening your mouth to speak and offer another apology for what you had done, you failed when your grief at what was to come next when Mike looked down and locked eyes with you prevented you from uttering a single word.  
Holding your head high you clenched your fists and walked forward, taking slow but purposeful steps towards him.  
The ground shook beneath you as Mike started to do the same, bending his body at the waist and reaching down to grasp you in one large hand.  
You kept your eyes locked on his the entire time, even when you were mere centimeters from his open mouth.   
You did not flinch...you did not cry out...you willingly went to your death knowing that Mike would use your powers well and that you had kept your promise to make sure that he would return alive.  
You didn't care that you would be remembered as a traitor by everyone back in your homeland, for you had proved your loyalty to Mike and the Survey Corps...feeling satisfied with that small piece of knowledge, you died achieving the redemption you so desperately sought.  
  
Within minutes of devouring you, Mike's titan form fell to its knees.   
Engulfed in another cloud of thick white steam, the muscled flesh began to slowly evaporate and reveal the human trapped within its nape.  
His once broken and mangled body now fully healed, he unceremoniously fell from the rapidly disappearing titan form and crashed to the ground with a loud grunt, rapidly blinking and coughing.  
"Where...where am I?" He gasped, forcing himself up onto his knees before growling and gripping his aching head.   
Looking down at himself he realized his gear was missing, but why?  
Struggling to his feet he took a moment to regain his balance before scanning his surroundings.   
The outpost was in ruins, had there been some sort of battle?   
Humming thoughtfully he noticed a set of discarded ODM Gear conveniently placed under a nearby tree along with a Survey Corps jacket, if it had been abandoned then the chances were it was broken. Still there was no harm in checking.  
Still feeling woozy, he dropped to his knees and started to inspect his find, his brows furrowing when he realized that it was actually in perfect working order. The scabbards were even housing two full tanks of gas and eight unused blades, so why had it just been carelessly left here where anyone could find it?  
Shrugging off his silent questions he decided to make haste and started to attach the gear to his harness, turning his attention to the jacket a moment later and picking it up.  
Raising it to his face he sniffed the collar to try and find out who it belonged to, his eyes widening when he instantly recognized the owners scent.  
"F/n?" He snarled, gritting his teeth. "What the hell was that traitor doing here?"  
Suddenly an intense throbbing pain tore through his skull and his vision went black for a brief few seconds before voices filled his head...panicked, painful and pleading with him, they seemed to intermingle with each other until one finally started to stand out among the others.  
  
 _"I love you Mike Zacharius." You whispered, placing the needle between your teeth and removing the cap to expose the sharp point. "I always have...please forgive me."_  
 _"F/n?" He asked huskily, finally finding his voice._  
 _"I'm so sorry."_  
 _Pressing your lips to his, you passionately kissed him for the last time as you jabbed the needle into his nape and depressed the plunger._  
  
Mike's heart almost stopped beating, what the hell was happening to him? Why was he seeing this?  
The strange visions continued, leaving the confused section commander to stand frozen to the spot almost as if he were a statue while the visions continued.  
  
 _You hastily started to unclip your ODM Gear from your harness and rushed to place it under a nearby tree, making sure it was all present before looking back towards Mike._  
 _Steam was starting to rise up from his body and the sound of bones snapping soon reached your ears, followed by harsh coughs and cries of pain._  
 _Removing your jacket and placing it down with your gear, you continued to watch through teary eyes as the transformation began._  
 _The steam grew thicker and the only sign that anything was happening behind it was the sight of a thick black shadow with bulging muscles slowly started to appear, accompanied by a blood curdling roar that chilled you to the bone._  
 _Your breaths started to become heavy and forced when you craned your neck to stare up at the eighteen meter tall titan that's head now appeared above the cloud of steam, a head of shaggy chin length blonde hair swaying around its face as it looked around._  
 _Pale narrow eyes scanned their surroundings while the mouth of the beast remained framed by dark stubble and pulled down into the stoic frown Mike always displayed when he was deep in thought._  
 _Opening your mouth to speak and offer another apology for what you had done, you failed when your grief at what was to come next when Mike looked down and locked eyes with you prevented you from uttering a single word._  
 _Holding your head high you clenched your fists and walked forward, taking slow but purposeful steps towards him._  
 _The ground shook beneath you as Mike started to do the same, bending his body at the waist and reaching down to grasp you in one large hand._  
 _You kept your eyes locked on his the entire time, even when you were mere centimeters from his open mouth..._  
  
"F/n!" He gasped, realization hitting him like a blow to the head with a blunt weapon.   
The breach of Wall Rose, fleeing the outpost, the encounter with the abnormal titan that could talk and finally...being on the brink of death after almost being devoured.  
He suddenly remembered it all.  
You had sacrificed yourself to save him, willingly given up your life in exchange for passing on your titan shifting abilities to him so that they would not fall back into the hands of the enemy.  
"F/n." He muttered, burying his face into the jacket and inhaling deeply, relishing the scent of you that still clung to it.   
Raising his head, a single tear slowly fell down his face when the sound of a horse whinnying nearby caught his attention.  
Furrowing his brows, Mike stood up and brought his hand to his mouth, letting out a shrill whistle.  
Within seconds the sound of hooves galloping over the open grassland echoed around him and a dark brown horse with a small white star on its forehead began to approach him, slowing to a halt and shaking out its mane when it reached him.  
Setting his face in a stoic frown when he recognized it to be your mount, Mike gently patted the animals neck before hauling himself up into the saddle and looking back towards the ruined outpost.  
Sighing deeply he turned the horse around and galloped away back towards Wall Sina, Commander Erwin would need to be made aware of what was currently happening so he could formulate a plan of how best to deal with it.  
However there was also going to be much to discuss regarding the fact that Mike was now a titan shifter, that was going to take some explaining.  
Still, he would give the commander and his comrades full disclosure of recent events when he arrived.   
He would be sure to make them aware of the sacrifice you had made to ensure his survival in the hopes that they may find it in their hearts to forgive you for your lies and deceit, but most importantly of all, he would make sure your redemption was remembered.  
"F/n." He muttered to the air, tightening his grip on the horses reins. "I forgive you...Goodbye my love."


End file.
